So I lied.
5:03 PM - Friday, October 14, 2011
I've ironed out some patches, so hopefully, they wont crease anymore.
Im back here because I've got the world to complain about again, you know how much it sucks to be in love?
Well it sucks, it sucks bad. Especially when you've locked up that emotion for the longest time, after being hurt by it. I don't mean I totally gave up on love, but I found a fake, plastic substitute that people thought was real.
Its been the longest time since I have been anxious for a reply, or excited when I get a text, or interested in talking about weird stuff.
It has also been the longest fucking time since I could not sleep over a person.
After crying at midnight, waking up at 4am and tweeting spam, and wanting to commit suicide, I have no choice but to admit to this stupid, adamant nagging thought that,"Shit, I fell in love. The fuck?!"
I can't hide from it anymore, though I thought I could. It doesn't help that the person I like could have a 7 year slower maturity than me and has NO idea how emotional I can get inside when you toss my feelings around like in a salad tosser. At 12am, it was the rush of feelings that came back. It scared me so bad, I wanted to kill myself.
That's about how afraid I am of my emotions.
The rush of the feeling that made me human again, on equal terms with the rest of the society, shocked me into tears. How fucking nice.
Just got a text. Freaked out and grabbed the phone. Felt disappointed when it was not who I expected. Who am I kidding? I kinda accidentally rejected you.
And then at midnight I texted you that I loved you, again, and I hope your parents don't kill you, sincerely. I don't mean no harm, Im a weirdo with emotions, a heart, and hormones. Thats a lovely combination. It also makes me a original,which leads me to this.
For those who don't have a style, don't steal one. Like don't be a poser. I will break your joints.
Back to the topic. I tried to sleep. Your face, it keeps popping up in my mind, over and over and over. Therefore, 4am. Im depressed and I really want a reply. And so I tweet, and tweet, and tweet, hoping that tweeting will make these stupid feelings go away.At 15, Im not prepared to be this lovesick, and I need a shoulder to cry on, pretty badly. But who do I kid? Its saturday morning and its 8.30, most people (Considering this is post exam and everyone is chilling till like 3am) would still be CRASHED. But Im not a stalker, IDK what time you wake up.
So no shoulder, no body awake, no text = life sucks at the moment.
Did I mention my AFA cos is MILDLY FUCKED?
oh well. Hopefully this torture ends. Soon. So please, goddamnit, reply.
...I never asked you to read my blog.
7:31 AM - Monday, July 19, 2010
So STOP LOOKING.
This blog? From now on? Dead :)
To those who wanna stay in touch send me a text or something, or you can email me at
mangacrusader118@hotmail.com I will send you the link.
And haters?
No you're not welcome here byebye!
*smiles*
Hey if you really hate me and dont care? seriously why ARE YOUI EVEN READING ON?! LOL :)
PS. If you really hate me please stop posting indirect stuff :) Its kinda irritating. Thanks. Oh and if you wanna wage war? The face is here. :)
Kay, cant be bothered anymoar.
Bye :D
Adios!
.....Sayonaraaa?
oh whatever bye.
10:46 PM - Wednesday, July 14, 2010
There's no title to this post.
Simply because it is undeserving of one.I finally caught up with you.
But why am I not surprised? I have always known this day would eventually happen.
I mean, why stop the unaviodable?
Its fate.
Not coinciednce....
Because coincidence is something you create.I have stopped being surprised of what I'm not supposed to be surprised of. Some things, will keep on going....down.
To an endless pit of nothingness. So as I sit in silence and watch the world around me go by?
I've taken the serene stance.
I am glad of who I am, what I weigh, how I look.
Why bother, any longer?
However, the world was brought up to be looked upon by first impression.
....you see, if a man is dirty, clothes unclean and ruffled...
You'd probably stay far far away.
If the man is clean cut, smells like soap, and wears neat and tidy clothing...
You'd probably consider that he's the rich one.
However.
have you ever thought that it could have been a poor man who stole the rich man's clothing?
You never know.
So i rest my case. Its an unwritten law of the world, no matter how many times we...
" dont judge a book by its cover. "
So what can you do about it?
Change the world?
Or change yourself?
WAAAAAAH SO LONG AGO....
6:49 AM - Monday, June 14, 2010
I feel so apologetic that I havent blogged.
Lets start from oldest things first. So we did take the freaggin retest. It was easier. :) So happy.
THE HOLIDAY ARRIVED O.o...
then I went to CHEEEENA.
God people spit EVERYWHERE.
....but for some unknown reason? THEY'RE ROADS ARE CLEANER THAN OURS.
epic much.
I bought alot of crap there, made myself happy and all. Bought stuff for some people...
I THINK.
So I went to view the ...er....what was it?
OH OLYMPIC THINGY.
and I realised, with SHOCKING PROPORTION:
The Bird nest stadium was LITERALLY a stone throw away from the water cube.
Which is...
HEY HEY!
Not a cube.
OTL.
Haiz. I cam-whored alot. Took alot of pics and bought a totally awesome wiggeh for $20 bucks. I feel blessed :)
Came back IN ONE PIECE.
So anyways, my phoney dieded on me ON THE WAY HOME. IT MEANS THAT I'M USING MY OLD PHONE. :(
NUUUUUUUUUUU.
Went to street fest on .....SUNDAY! RIGHT.
I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY DID MY LOLITAAARRRR!
I'm so pleased. I carried my friend ( yes, by her arms and legs. Me and a friend carried her, AWAAAAY!) like a pig, and we had alot of photos taken :)
Which was EEEEPIC.
It was awesome :) I love festivals XD Anyway, today me and nat tan and sharlyn hwangMANDU....
SAIL-ED!
Which was a load of crap if you realise on FB where you seeee,,,,,
all of us in my wiggehs :)
So what does that mean?
I'm sorry _ _ _ _ _ _ but we did NOTHING. Like NIL.
But we did figure out some things and that was kewl.
....thats all for tonight until I go out with my BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFL tomorrow :)
Night peeps!
DAMN!
3:57 AM - Thursday, May 6, 2010
damn what, you say?
DAMN THE FACT THAT THEY'RE MAKIN US RETEST LIT.
But for term 3.
THEN WHY THE HELL MAKE US DO IT IN WEEK 9 ARH?!
Look, its called a HOLIDAY.
Let us HAVE THAT ONE FREAKING WEEK TO REST!
So anyway got my Geog TA back and wanted to destroy it.
But got A2 luhh so I dont care liao.
I'm happy for lit (pwnage)
To all those people out there who didnt do so well:
Rest assured I'll dig that little pimple out and get YOUR revenge.
I will squeeze it out and destroy it.
More like make it miserable by poking and stabbing at it.
I had fun today.
Crowd response: " Doing what? "
well, it was the funnest thing I have done in class so far.
POLISH shooooesss!!!!
Its so fun when you see it become all shiny and sparkly.
AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO POLISH BOOTS!
the problem is, One side of jazzy's shoe is SPARKLEE but one is dull.
But Juwairiya's shoes were like.
*BAM*
so I'm gonna do it again.
TOMORRRRRROWWW~~~~~~
*giggles like crazy*
I cannot wait.
I wonder why you people dont like doing it.
Its so Theraputic!~
Some things just disappear....
4:32 AM - Tuesday, May 4, 2010
But the nice thing is, some come back.
AAAAAAANYWAY.
I am soooo glad history and english end tomorrow.
History will so kill my fingers....~
I can already see it swelling.
0.o....
Niki ( tomorrow )
AFTER HISTORY...:
HOOOO SHIT MY FINGER HURTS WHAT THE ****...(waves hand like a bimbo)
ENGLISH...:
.....-bleeeeeeeeeeeep-
So I'm hoping to go to ION orchard tomorrow to go check out Sephora.
IF there is DEP...I might be too lazy to go.
I feel fat just sitting in my chair. And I know I've lost 7 marks for math ALREADY and it sucks..
But I wanna get out of REMEDIAL.
NOW.
NOW.
NOW.
So I hope I have scored enough to lugg my arse outta a class I dont think I need.
My algebra sucks.
I GET IT already.
=3=....>insert pout here<
I shall now think of something new to do before I BORE myself to absolute DEATH.
Byebye :D
<3
I LOVE YOU BABEH
To dance with my eyes closed...~
4:10 AM - Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I'll let go of myself and take flight~
The truth is, life is too important to overlook...I look at the days that have passed...
I think I loved them...
To think....love was no more than that illusion
That I saw floating in the water so clear
Crystal, Gentle, Flowing
I took the illusion and carried it...
Slowly adding petals of dream
Perfumes of love
Warmth of trust
.....
But I never thought that one day the water would slip through my fingers...
Spill onto the floor....
And all that was left on my cold shaking palms...
Was the dried petals and faded scent sweet
That once was so tender...
As tears drip from clouded eyes
Once filled with the water so clear
They sting the cold palms
Tearing the skin
Causing Pain untold.
Sitting on the swing of life, back...and forth
Quietly, Peacefully
...back ...and forth...
With every day, we learn something. To love, to hold, to breathe..
To dream.
And we will soon learn...
That dreams dont always come true.
Like a shattered love story on one's lip.
Like a painful reminder of something once beautiful.
And yet.
The swing of life swings once more.
With greater height.
With more than just a stronger beat.
But with the sweet swinging...
Back and forth once more.
