Im back here because I've got the world to complain about again, you know how much it sucks to be in love?
Well it sucks, it sucks bad. Especially when you've locked up that emotion for the longest time, after being hurt by it. I don't mean I totally gave up on love, but I found a fake, plastic substitute that people thought was real.
Its been the longest time since I have been anxious for a reply, or excited when I get a text, or interested in talking about weird stuff.
It has also been the longest fucking time since I could not sleep over a person.
After crying at midnight, waking up at 4am and tweeting spam, and wanting to commit suicide, I have no choice but to admit to this stupid, adamant nagging thought that,"Shit, I fell in love. The fuck?!"
I can't hide from it anymore, though I thought I could. It doesn't help that the person I like could have a 7 year slower maturity than me and has NO idea how emotional I can get inside when you toss my feelings around like in a salad tosser. At 12am, it was the rush of feelings that came back. It scared me so bad, I wanted to kill myself.
That's about how afraid I am of my emotions.
The rush of the feeling that made me human again, on equal terms with the rest of the society, shocked me into tears. How fucking nice.
Just got a text. Freaked out and grabbed the phone. Felt disappointed when it was not who I expected. Who am I kidding? I kinda accidentally rejected you.
And then at midnight I texted you that I loved you, again, and I hope your parents don't kill you, sincerely. I don't mean no harm, Im a weirdo with emotions, a heart, and hormones. Thats a lovely combination. It also makes me a original,which leads me to this.
For those who don't have a style, don't steal one. Like don't be a poser. I will break your joints.
Back to the topic. I tried to sleep. Your face, it keeps popping up in my mind, over and over and over. Therefore, 4am. Im depressed and I really want a reply. And so I tweet, and tweet, and tweet, hoping that tweeting will make these stupid feelings go away.At 15, Im not prepared to be this lovesick, and I need a shoulder to cry on, pretty badly. But who do I kid? Its saturday morning and its 8.30, most people (Considering this is post exam and everyone is chilling till like 3am) would still be CRASHED. But Im not a stalker, IDK what time you wake up.
So no shoulder, no body awake, no text = life sucks at the moment.
Did I mention my AFA cos is MILDLY FUCKED?
oh well. Hopefully this torture ends. Soon. So please, goddamnit, reply.